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 Gay-Parents or No Gay-Parents

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Grove Master

Registration date : 2008-06-21
Location : Gainesville Florida U.S.A.
Number of posts : 654

PostSubject: Gay-Parents or No Gay-Parents   Mon Nov 17, 2008 10:11 pm

this is an essay that a friend of a friend wrote. after asking her permission to reproduce it to show to others, i am now placing it here where i can retrieve it for use on other sites as well. please read it, and do not be afraid to pass it on to others.

April wrote:
This was a paper I wrote for my English class. It's the rough draft, so if there are errors, get over it. Anyways, for those of you who wanted to read it, here it is.

Homosexual Parents or No Parents?

As you grow up, your parents always tell you, "Don't judge a book by its cover. Get to know someone before making a decision about them." It's not until you become a little older that you realize how hypocritical those same "equal opportunity" people are. In fact, some of the major laws made in states are based on judgments of people without knowing all the facts. The ban on adoption of children by homosexual couples and individuals would be one of these laws. Not every state has this ban, but only four states actually state that they allow homosexual couples to adopt. Florida is the only state so far that explicitly bans homosexual couples from adopting (Belge), although Florida does allow homosexuals to be foster parents (Kreisher). Gay and lesbian couples and individuals should be given the privilege of adopting, for it is in the children's best interest.

According to statistics gathered in 2006 by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, there were close to 510,000 children in foster care. While some of these children are awaiting adoption, many do not know what is going to happen, especially the older ones and ones with special needs. Kathy Belge explains that many of these children are currently in foster homes with homosexual parents who wish to adopt them. This law is only hurting a child's chance of being out of a foster home and into a stable, loving home. I don't think most children have, "Heterosexual or homosexual," at the top of their list for qualifications of a good parent. They just want a place they can call home and to be with people they know will protect them and love them and help them in their times of need. Adoption is defined as "ending the legal relationship between a person and his or her original parents and creating a new and legal family relationship" according to the Advocates for Children and Families. No where does it say, "but only if we like the persons sexual orientation."

Who's to decide that homosexual parents are not as good as heterosexual parents? No evidence so far has proven that the former is inferior to the latter; therefore, why do people go on saying it is in the child's best interest to be adopted by heterosexual parents? Researchers Judith Stacey and Timothy Biblarz found that besides some differences in gender behavior, there were no declines of any characteristics in children from heterosexual parented families and homosexual parented families; although, certain aspects such as affection and responsiveness were higher in the children with homosexual parents (Kreisher). Even if you pay no attention to those facts, Belge points out that no legal reason stands to say homosexual parents are not as qualified as heterosexual parents. Opponents of gay rights often say that since most molestation cases are male adults attacking male children, gay men must be most likely to abuse children, but even this one possible legal reason has been ruled out by psychologists and serious social scientists, proving that most people in molestation cases are, in fact, heterosexual (Sanchez).

In situations where a woman has a child through artificial insemination, or if a widow remarries, and wants her partner to go though second-parent adoption so they can both have legal custody of the child, then almost any time this can be done easily; if the two people in question are heterosexual that is. If they are homosexual though, this may be a little difficult in some states, or even completely impossible. Not allowing second-parent adoption to homosexuals could hurt the child or children they a couple is caring for. As Kathy Belge puts it, "…the remaining parent, even if they have been raising the child for years, can be seen as a stranger in the eyes of the law." In this case, if anything were to happen to the legal parent, neither the non-custodial parent nor their insurance can give any help to the child at all (Belge). In addition to that, a child could be taken away from the non-custodial parent all together and put into a foster home (Sanchez). Even after all the care and support this person could of given this child, some states would rather not allow them to second-parent adopt and instead just take the child away and put them into a foster home with complete strangers. This is just one more step in making it more difficult for gay parents to have a stable home for their children.

Somehow, even with the mountains of evidence that show homosexual parents are just as good as heterosexual parents, the opposition has been able to stand it's ground. The main reasons against gay adoption would be that it doesn't follow family values, it's against God's wishes, and that it would be harmful or unfair to the children.

Julian Sanchez explains family values as being, "about ensuring that all children…find loving homes, and that enrolling those kids in school or getting them medical care is a simple, routine procedure…." By making a law against homosexuals adopting, it is making it harder for these children to get into good homes and even harder for them to get a good education. Who are we anyways to tell what an ideal family is? The Human Rights Campaign states, "There is no ideal family form anymore. There are many forms of family (Kreisher)." I can understand having an individual be the second choice when deciding whom a child should go to in an adoption, but I feel this is true for both homosexuals and heterosexual. A homosexual couple should be looked at before a heterosexual individual. As for those who say a child needs a mother and father for a stable lifestyle, only 24% home have a mother and father with children. Studies show that children from homosexual families are just as well as heterosexual families emotionally and socially (Belge).

I believe people are entitled to their beliefs on their religions. It's when people use their religion to decide the life of others that I believe it's wrong. No one should have the right to decide what someone else is doing with his or her life unless it may harm another individual. In this case, no one is being harmed but the children not being able to get into good homes.

The last main argument against gay adoption is that is may harm or be unfair to the children who are brought into these homes. People say, "The child won't get to experience a real family." Some children, without being adopted by homosexual families, will not be able to experience any type of family at all. As explained earlier, many studies have proved that children with homosexual parents fare just as well as children with heterosexual parents. For the ones who say a child will be taunted because of their parent's sexual orientation (Belge), the world we are growing up in now is much more accepting of homosexuality (Pew Research Center).

There are no logical reasons to promote the bans on gay adoption. Instead of focusing so much on people's sexual orientation, more attention should be paid to the needs of the children. Not allowing homosexual individuals and couples to adopt only gives a smaller opportunity for children to be adopted. The children will be just as well with homosexual parents as they would be with heterosexual parents. Next time you are asked which you believe is better - keeping the ban or overturning it - think of it in a different way. Do you believe it is better to leave children trapped in an orphanage or going from foster home to foster home, or do you think they'd prefer the love and support of someone who truly cares for them? Now that you know all the facts, you be the judge.

Works Cited

Belge, Kathy. "Lesbian and Gay Adoption Rights: Both Sides of the Issue" About.com 16 October 2008.

Kreisher, Kristen. "Gay Adoption" CWLA.org 16 October 2008.

"Less Opposition to Gay Marriage, Adoption and Military Service" People-Press.org

9 November 2008.

Sanchez, Julian. "All Happy Families: The Looming Battle Over Gay Parenting" Reason.com 26 August 2008.

"Sidebar: Foster Care Statistics" GovTech.com 9 November 2008.
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Lady Gwendolynn O'Danaan

Registration date : 2008-03-31
Location : Mary Esther, FL
Number of posts : 805

PostSubject: Re: Gay-Parents or No Gay-Parents   Wed Jan 28, 2009 7:13 pm

As my own personal opinion I think it's fine for children to be raised by two well tempered individuals even if it isn't a man and woman. They might wonder why they don't specifically have a mother and father, but eventually as they grow older they'll see them, because it all depends on who loves and cares about you.

"For many are called, but few are chosen" - Matthew 22:14 ver. New American Standard.
"Though my soul is born from darkness, it shall rise in perfect light, I have loved the stars too fondly, to be fearful of the night". Unknown
"On those nights that I gazed upon the full moon in longing it was always you that my heart was calling." - me
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Grove Master

Registration date : 2008-06-21
Location : Gainesville Florida U.S.A.
Number of posts : 654

PostSubject: Re: Gay-Parents or No Gay-Parents   Thu Jan 29, 2009 3:17 am

yes, wonderfully put mistress. ^_^
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