i would call you a traitor and a poser, and a blasphemer, and i would punish you by bleeching your skin, making you mostly postetic with a clip-on nose, and charge you with child molestation... but only if i defeated you at a match of honour of some sorts first.
what if i became a military dictator and had my way with whoever i can? involving stealing people's daughters to add to my harem, enlisting the men into my army and making their wives clean my castle? :XD