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 The Caffeinated Cross

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Lunacin
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Registration date : 2008-04-01
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Location : Moonlit Paths, Deep Woods, Shadowed Alleys..all in OR
Number of posts : 45

PostSubject: The Caffeinated Cross   Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:31 am

Think I'm gonna start doing this daily!!

The Caffeinated Cross
(A Javacrucian Ritual)

-lodged between the musty old pages of a musty, dusty old book in a musty, dusty old library whose musty, dusty old dust hadn't been disturbed by the presence of man in many a musty, dusty old century. It took a great deal of effort to translate the original writings. After months of effort and research in language libraries, it was finally determined that the weird script was not some arcane, forgotten language, but English, written by someone with a very bad case of caffeine jitters.

Another fragment indicated that this was once part of a book, titled "The Mystery of the StarBuck."

THE CAFFEINATED CROSS
Stand, facing east, holding your coffee cup, filled with the mystical brew, in your power hand, and assume a posture of wakeful alertness.

Bring your coffee cup to your forehead and intone:

"LATTE"

Lower your coffee cup to the vicinity of your navel:

"MOCHA"

Bring your coffee cup to your left shoulder:

"CAPPUCHINO"

Bring it across to your right shoulder:

"FRAPPUCHINO"

Clasp your coffee cup in both hands over your heart chakra:

"ARABICA, OH MAN!"

Extend your arms to the sides, and intone:

"BEFORE ME, MRS. OLSON"

"BEHIND ME, JUAN VALDEZ"

"AT MY RIGHT HAND, M J B"

"AT MY LEFT HAND, THE BROTHERS HILLS"

"FOR ABOUT ME SWIRLS THE COFFEE AROMA"

"WITHIN ME SINGS THE CAFFEINE HIGH"

Drink the coffee, in communion with the spirits of the Sacred Coffee Bean. This last step may be usefully repeated as long as you like.

To end the ritual, raise the mug to your lips one last time, facing East and intone:

"GODDESS... I needed that!"

-- by Karl Lembke
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somber goddess
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Registration date : 2008-04-02
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Location : Somewhere between knowledge and insanity
Number of posts : 14

PostSubject: Re: The Caffeinated Cross   Mon Apr 07, 2008 10:08 am

Gods I wish I liked Coffee, I'm sure I could make it work with Mt. Dew though...*ponders the massive caffeine high times the Sugar high, to the 13th level of 'are you sure thats not crack she's drinking?"* bounce
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Nataku
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Registration date : 2008-04-02
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Number of posts : 174

PostSubject: Re: The Caffeinated Cross   Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:39 am

somber goddess wrote:
Gods I wish I liked Coffee, I'm sure I could make it work with Mt. Dew though...*ponders the massive caffeine high times the Sugar high, to the 13th level of 'are you sure thats not crack she's drinking?"* bounce

pff i miss surge... that stuff was like mtn dew ON crack!
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